Daylillies are my favorite flower.  Not because I like how they look.  It’s their resiliency that I admire most.  You just can’t kill them!  For a brown thumb like me, that’s an important quality in a flower.  The first time I tried to divide a mass of daylillies in my yard, I had to bludgeon the roots with such force, that I actually felt sorry for the plant.  But when Spring arrived, the plant held no grudges and bore no sign of injury.  It was back, stronger than ever.  Finally, when I ran out of space in my yard and had exhausted a list of recipients for divided daylillies, I resorted to tossing the unwanted bulbs into the woods.  There they sit, exposed roots in a messy heap, reaching into the ground and, yes, blooming in the middle of the woods.  Imagine if people were that resilient!  Instead of wilting in the face of adversity, they’d flourish.

If a daylily were a person, she’d be my hero.  I would marvel at her tenacity and resilience.  She could be uprooted from a home, a job, or a relationship and tossed into unfamiliar territory.  And even though her feet weren’t firmly planted, she’d raise her head and smile at the world, radiating her best self.

This is what resilience looks like – the ability to bounce back from injury, move forward after failure, and roll in a heap of self-worth no matter what the world throws at you.  This is what I seek for myself; this is what I wish for my children.

Years from now, when my children are on their own in the world, most of the lessons I’ve tried to impart won’t matter to me.  I won’t worry about whether or not they’re being polite, cleaning their rooms, or telling the truth.  But I will want to be assured that they have enough inner strength to handle the challenges of life.

3 Ways to Foster Resilience in Children

Parents, you can foster the quality of resilience in children by your own exapmle. 

1. Use your own mistakes as an opportunity to teach children how to cope with defeat and learn from it rather than focus on constant success. 
2. Make an effort to bloom wherever you’re planted.  Instead of complaining about your circumstances, adopt a positive mental attitude and make an effort to shine.
3. Demonstrate an attitude of ownership for your choices and behaviors.  Admit to your mistakes and apologize freely.

Children are resilient by nature.  If we hold this view of them and nourish it with a bit of conscious parenting, resiliency will flourish like a garden of magnificent daylillies.  And the world will marvel at the true beauty.