With one tween off to Middle School for the first time, another who would “rather lick my shoe” than go to school, and a little one starting first grade, emotions were high on this first day of school.  It was entertaining to watch the morning unfold.  Like a three-ring circus, each of my children had a unique display of emotions happening simultaneously.

• In ring number one: silliness, hyperactivity, and compulsvie talking
• In ring number two: grouchiness, sibling rivalry, and rebellion
• In ring number three: Renewed comfort measures (thumb-sucking, hair twirling…), crying and repetitive questions

At times, the combined tension rose so high, it threatened to blow the top off the tent; and my husband and I, the ringmasters, did all we could to hold it together while juggling bowls of cereal.  But still, we were amused – which is a trick in itself.  The trick is reminding yourself that whatever is happening right now is temporary.  And it doesn’t hurt to emply the following parenting techniques.

3 Tips to Ease School Transitions

1. Free Passes:  This is a good time to ‘turn the other cheek.’  If a child sasses you or fails to complete a chore, let it go for now.  We all say and do things when we’re stressed that we later regret.
2. Unconditional Love:  Kids need love most when they seem the most unlovable.  When a child is acting out-of-sorts, she needs to know that her behavior does not affect your love for her.  Try these magic words: “I still love you when you’re grumpy.”
3. Acknowledge and Affirm:  Children may be scared by stress.  Feeling out-of-control is no picnic, especially when you haven’t yet acquired a bag full of coping strategies.  Parents can ease transitions by acknowledging how hard it is to start a new school year.  Then, remind the child of the strengths she possesses.

In addition, you can help a child to build up an awareness of coping strategies that are available to her.

Coping Strategies for Children

• Affirmations:  Positive self-talk is a tool that any child can master.  If a child learns the skill when she’s young, she’ll use it for a lifetime.
• Exercise and Fresh Air:  Moving the body and deep breathing are two of the best ways to eliminate the physical effects of stress.
• Express Feelings:  Children can process feelings through speaking, singing, writing, drawing, dancing, and music.

It’s taken me years of parenting to arrive at the perspective that back-to-school mayhem can be enlightening and enjoyable.  The enlightenment is in noticing how each of my children is so very different.  The enjoyment is in watching them evolve into people who will someday take these life lessons into the bigger world.

Someday, I’ll really miss this three-ring circus.  For now, I’ll enjoy the show.  Please pass the popcorn.

To learn more about how to help tweens understand feelings and practice positive self-talk, refer to my book, Tween You and Me: A Preteen Guide to Becoming Your Best Self now available at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0982051859