A New Year. A time when people are pledging to be better, to be more, to improve somehow. I can’t help but think, (cynically), how many people will abandon their New Year’s Resolutions within a short time. Promises broken….again.

What is it that makes resolutions so difficult to honor? So fleeting? So opposite of resolute?   In my observation, many people set over-inflated intentions that lack structure.   When I teach the principles of goal setting to tweens and teens, I stress the importance of setting realistic expectations.  Dreaming ‘big’ is important, but lofty goals remain unattainable if we don’t stay grounded in reality.

There’s a big difference between a young person who says “I’m going to be rich someday, but I don’t know how” and one who says, “I plan to be a successful business owner after college by the time I’m 30.”  In the first example, we see only the dream.   In the second, we see a call to action, a plan – go to college, start a business, have a time frame.

Any goal can be outlined in 3 simple steps:

1. What  – what is my intention?
2. When – time frame for achieivng the goal.
3. How – action steps needed to reach the goal.

Setting goals is important.  Goals help us to reach into the future and pull ourselves toward our dreams.  Many young people fail to realize that goal setting continues for a lifetime.  You can help bridge that gap by sharing your own goals with your child and giving them some tips for success:

• Write your goals.  It helps to solidify them and give them more importance and seriousness. 
• Share goals with a trusted friend or family member.   Being accountable to another can help us persevere.  Having only ourselves to diappoint is often less motivating than the idea of losing credibility in the eyes of a friend. 
• Take time to recognize achievements, big or small.  Celebrating the accomplishment of one step toward a long term goal will renew our excitement.  We see that everything we’ve achieved has been the culmination of several small steps.

The more we accomplish our goals, the more capable and confident we feel.  In turn, we are willing to take on additional positive challenges.  And postivie risk-taking is a sign of healthy self-esteem.  So encourage your young ones to set goals, challenge themselves, and be accountable.  Work together on setting a family goal for the coming month or year.  Doing so will help your children begin a practice that will increase their chance for success.